Forgiveness?

 

Betrayal

 Relationships are difficult, even during the best of times. The key is communication. If one partner is kept in the dark, how can you expect there to be trust? You can’t. And if you don’t have trust, the relationship is doomed. It doesn’t matter how you try to justify it or sugarcoat it … a lie of omission is still a lie.

 I now realize that I was never a priority for you, and that makes me unbelievably sad. I’m so sorry that you felt you couldn't tell me the real reason for your trip. I’m sorry that I allowed myself to be deluded into believing you felt for me what I felt for you. I'm sorry for not believing you when you kept telling me you were not a good person. But most of all, I’m sorry that I allowed you to hurt me. You knew my history, why I have trust issues, and yet you chose to lie to me anyway. How could you?

 The saddest ... no, most pathetic ... thing is this - I would have continued being oblivious to your true feelings if this hadn't all happened. I watched you physically recoil from my touch, and thought, "Oh, he's just not ready." You never once initiated physical contact - unless you were impaired. And you always pulled away after only a moment or two, even when we were alone and in private. As someone who craves physical contact, I never understood why until now.

 I was not what you wanted. 

 I wish I could say that I wish you well, but honestly, I hope this keeps you up at night. You destroyed something that could have been beautiful. I would have promised to always choose you. It's a shame that you didn't choose me. Do I forgive what you've done? Yes. Do I understand why you did it? No. Will I ever forget the pain and hurt you've caused me? Absolutely not. 

Betrayal Sucks

 Betrayal sucks! Whether it's perceived betrayal or bonafide confirmed betrayal. It sucks. And once you've been betrayed, you find it extremely difficult to trust ever again.

More to come on this in a future post. For right now, I need to breathe. 

Masks and COVID-19

This is a short - but very important - post.

I have a compromised immune system. I have family members who have severely compromised immune systems. I have friends in the same boat, including my gentleman friend. Please ... be compassionate and responsible. Continue wearing a mask while in public. Get vaccinated. Get tested for COVID-19 regularly (I test once a week, at least). 

We have seen that COVID-19 kills indiscriminately. Don't be the reason someone you know gets sick and dies.

The Grammy Awards

 It's awards season, y'all! Last weekend, we had the Oscars (and all its drama). This coming weekend, we have the Grammy awards. Now, I'm not saying I'm old (no comments from the peanut gallery, please), but I'm not familiar with most of the nominees (something I've noticed happening more and more frequently over the last decade).

This got me to thinking about some of my favorite signers and musicians. My tastes in music are a bit on the eclectic side - if you shuffle my iPod, you're likely to hear some opera, indie rock, alternative rock, country, gospel, Broadway, classical, and popera. I'll list some of my favorite musical artists below, and would love to hear some of yours as well.

• Pat Benatar
• Journey
• Renée Fleming
• Isabel Leonard
• Joshua Kadison
• Céline Dion
• Spencer Day
• Reba Rambo
• Sarah Brightman
• Adam Lopez
• Boston
• Missing Persons

Whatever your tastes in music are, please remember to support your favorites by legally purchasing their music.